Why 1:1s Are One of My Most Valuable Tools as an Engineering Manager

After two years of regular one-to-one meetings (1:1s) with the engineers I lead, I’ve come to consider them one of the most valuable parts of my role as a manager.

Feedback and career discussions matter. But these meetings also give people time and space to talk about concerns that might not come up in our daily work.

Some of those conversations have helped me understand challenges I hadn’t noticed myself. Others have taught me that listening can be all someone needs.

Giving people the space to speak

Before I started leading engineering teams, I spent time reading about engineering management and the importance of regular 1:1s.

One principle was clear to me from the beginning: 1:1s are not status meetings.

We have other places to discuss project progress. A 1:1 gives someone space to talk about how the work is affecting them and where they need support.

Most of our daily conversations revolve around technical challenges, priorities, and deadlines. There isn’t always an appropriate moment to talk about something that’s bothering us.

It might be work-related stress, frustration with a situation, or difficulty working with a teammate.

During some of my 1:1s, I’ve heard comments like:

“Sorry, I’m just telling you all my problems.”

Or:

“I just needed to tell someone.”

Whenever someone says something like that, I remind them that this is exactly what our 1:1 is for. It’s their time, and they shouldn’t feel they’re wasting it by sharing something that matters to them.

People may share a concern without expecting me to take action. I’ve had engineers explicitly tell me:

“I don’t need you to find a solution. I just want you to listen.”

Coming from a software engineering background, my instinct is often to understand a problem and figure out how to solve it. But I’ve learned that sometimes, listening is exactly what someone needs from me.

Listening can reveal what you don’t see

There are also situations where listening is only the beginning.

In one of my 1:1s, an engineer raised a concern about how work was being handled within the team. The situation was creating additional pressure for other team members.

Despite being involved in the team’s daily work, I hadn’t seen how the situation was affecting people.

I acknowledged this and took the concern seriously. Before deciding what action to take, I spoke with other team members to understand the situation from different perspectives.

Once I had a clearer understanding, I had a direct conversation with the engineer whose work had raised the concern. We discussed the situation and agreed on specific goals as part of an improvement plan.

The engineer acknowledged the problem and was willing to work on the plan. Over time, I saw a significant improvement in how the team collaborated.

That experience reinforced something important for me:

Being close to your team doesn’t mean you see everything.

Listening doesn’t mean automatically agreeing with everything I hear. It means taking concerns seriously, understanding the situation, and deciding whether action is needed.

What I’ve learned after two years

I started doing 1:1s knowing they shouldn’t be status meetings. Two years later, I have a much better understanding of why that matters.

Some conversations are about career development or feedback. Others bring up concerns I wouldn’t have noticed otherwise. A 1:1 can also give someone the space to talk.

Not every conversation needs to end with an action item or a solution. But when something does require attention, it’s my responsibility to understand it and act.

That is why regular 1:1s have become one of my most valuable tools as an engineering manager.